Minding Your Business

Murky Laws

How do you start and run a successful business? Well, you’ve got thousands of different books, videos, seminars, college and post-grad courses costing up to hundreds of thousands of pesos and that’ll take thousands of hours for you to go through and digest. But right here, the cost of this magazine, we go all yoda on all you budding entrepreneurs’ asses. Mixing metaphors and barking aphorisms like a drill sergeant, we serve you successful business principles, sound-bite style.

Financial Foreplay

Being in business should be like sex: Enjoy it. Get a feel for it. Take it easy. Don’t rush.

Make a game of your business. Don’t get into the same rut day in and day out.

Build a Base

Customer service is key. Always keep the client’s best interest in mind. Treat them like kings & queens and they’ll come to you and won’t want to go away.

Plot your Path

Analyze your dreams. Target what you want to accomplish in life & business

Once you know for sure what your goals are

Establish short range goals (1 month to 6 months), medium range goals (6 months to 1 year), and long term goals.

Then make a road map from point A to point B. (start to finish). Write down all the possible pit stops or obstacles that will be in your way. Mark each pit stop with the projected date of when that particular hurdle should be crossed.

Standing Out

Be original & be yourself. Do what you want to do.

Do research. Then do even more research.

Don’t copy your competition. Be creative. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box.

Staying On Top

Once you’ve got yourself up and running, don’t be in a hurry to get rich. Don’t get greedy.

Procrastination is a huge negative.

Be consistent. Consistently fine tune your goals & dreams.

Give back to the community.

Lastly, don’t get caught f-ing the petty cash or f-ing with the secretary.

And don’t listen to just one source.

-compiled, adapted and edited by Jude Defensor, some rights reserved. first published as pilot for column Minding Your Business in Manual magazine, 2006

Necro Manila: Death Calling

Grim Reaper (advertisement)

Grim Reaper (advertisement) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Popular horror show Nginiiig’s resident top psychic, Ruel Ruiz, shares with us another one of his horrific encounters with the supernatural this month. Ruel’s family home had always attracted its share of ghostly and ghoulish visitors. But over the course of that certain week, a more morbid caller came knocking. Ruel’s grandmother had taken ill, and the family was worried that she was now lying on her deathbed. Their fears were compounded by their grandmother’s unwelcome sentinel. Every day of that week they were greeted by three loud ominous knocks on their door. But once the door had been opened, they would always find nobody there. Until one night…

At around two am, the entire household was awakened by a loud scream. The scream seemed to come from the sala and everybody rushed out of their rooms to see what was the matter. There they saw Ruel’s Tita, slumped in a dead faint. When she eventually came to, she told them what she had seen. For some reason, she found herself still awake and about at that time of the night. And again the menacing knocks sounded off. Annoyed by the noisy intrusion, Ruel’s Tita decided to walk straight up to the door and fling it open. She was met by a blood-curdling sight. Standing there in the doorway was a most sinister figure, a dark hood draped over its bowed head, a bloody scythe in its hand. She realized that she was staring right into the face of death.

After this episode, the threatening signs began to intensify. They would hear dogs howling, as if calling for someone’s soul. The knocking began to extend past the doors and onto the walls and windows. One night, Ruel and his cousins were all together when the knocking came, but it was soon followed by a spine-chilling creaking noise. “What was that?” they asked of each other. Plucking up their courage, they ran to the main door to check. They came upon the door half-ajar. And curled against the door’s edge was a pair of hands. The hands were skeletal, little more than bone, and they were tightly gripping the door’s edge. Ruel and his cousins were all struck dumb and still from fright. Eventually, the wraith-like hands released their grip and slunk away, closing the door in their wake. This was the first time Ruel had encountered such an entity. His mother explained that it was supposed to be his grandmother’s time to pass on. The Grim Reaper sensed this and had decided to stand vigil for her soul and eventually collect. But his grandmother’s spirit was too strong. And despite death’s warning, she survived her illness and remains alive to this day.

Proceeding to a tale from further beyond the grave, Dr. Phil Hernando and his cousins had just finished attending the funeral of their recently deceased aunt at the Manila Memorial Park. With the ceremony over, they then thought of visiting the grave of their Uncle Loy, which was located within the same cemetery. Unfortunately, none of them could remember exactly where it was. After an arduous search of the vast cemetery in the half-light of dusk, they just could not locate their uncle’s burial place. One of Phil’s cousins, out of frustration, said out loud “Fuck it, Tito Loy will understand. Let’s just go”. A moment after those words had passed his lips, the car’s door locks began popping up and down in quick succession. His cousins told the one driving, “Hey, stop fooling around with the locks”. But the driver immediately pointed out that he had both his hands firmly on the steering wheel and could not possible have been manipulating the locks. Realization dawned on them all, and one finally thought of apologizing to the slighted spirit, “We’re sorry Tito Loy, we’ll go visit your grave now.” And with that, the locks stopped jumping, and the car came to a halt. When they got out to look around and check where they were, they discovered that they were parked right beside their Tito Loy’s grave.

-text by Jude Defensor, some rights reserved. first published under horror section Necro Manila in Manual magazine,2006

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